How do you say goodbye
To someone you adored as a child, but was detached from come adulthood?
How do you say goodbye
To your hero when you were still little, but a stranger when you grew up?
How do you say goodbye
To someone you've hardly spoken to in the last 6 years?
How do you say goodbye
When there are so many other things still left unsaid?
How do you say goodbye
When there are countless i'm-sorry's, a myriad of i-miss-you’s and infinte i-love-you's still hanging in the air?
How do you say goodbye
To someone you thought you had already lost a long time ago?
How do you say goodbye
To the first man who ever broke your heart and did it way back when you were a kid?
How do you say goodbye
To someone you have not forgiven yet for a number of things?
How do you say goodbye
To someone who probably has not forgiven you yet for a number of things?
How do you say goodbye
To half of the duo who gave you your life?
How do you say goodbye
To someone you had spent so little time with compared to the rest of the little girls out there?
How do you say goodbye
When instead you want to start over?
How do you say goodbye
When there should still be so much time left to get to know each other?
How do you say goodbye
When until now you still wish things were different?
How do you say goodbye
When all along you thought there was still a chance to fix your brokenness?
How do you say goodbye
When right now tears are winning over words and pain is winning over faith?
How do you say goodbye
When you know there’s little chance that you’re gonna be heard?
How do you say goodbye
When you know you’ve survived years and years without this person, and it’s only now that you realize how much it’s been hurting after all?
How do you say goodbye
When in fact…you’re nowhere near ready to let go?
=(
Friday, April 24, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Risks.
A friend asked me: what will make things better?
And I stopped to ponder on such a huge question. My mind was blank for a moment.
What will make things better?
I've succumbed to retail therapy a million times thinking it will make things better.
I've been putting my thoughts into writing thinking it will make things better.
I've allotted time for vacation and travel thinking it will make things better.
I've invested in material and leisurely effects thinking it will make things better.
But who among us really know what will make things better?
When I woke up this morning and decided that I will not take my morning swim because I was having a stubborn case of rhinitis, was I sure that the swim wouldn't have made my nose less stuffier, and that going back to sleep was what would definitely make things better?
In the afternoon, when I decided to wear flats with my cigarette pants instead of my favorite heels, was I sure that wearing the heels wouldn't have upped my self confidence and that wearing flats was what would definitely make things better?
It got me thinking...every decision we make, every choice will lead us to a consequence or yet another choice. But just because we made that specific choice, it doesn’t mean that the other options you had would not have made things better.
I guess my point is, life's about taking risks. Everyday.
And no one really knows what will make things better.
Things can make you FEEL better...Like ice cream and moonlit dinners by the beach. But you're not really sure if after the good feeling, the rest of your choices the rest of your days will be as good as that.
And that’s what life is all about right?
It's one big crazy-looking box filled with choices. Sometimes you get to pick many, most of the time your down to one choice.
And even before the moment you make your choice... you are already at risk at what your crazy-looking box holds for you.
And the most and, I believe, the best you can do is experience it, make the most out of it, and hope that the next day will bring you more choices other than flats or heels, swim or sleep... so that even if you don't know what will make things better, you know that you can be ready for just about anything.
And I stopped to ponder on such a huge question. My mind was blank for a moment.
What will make things better?
I've succumbed to retail therapy a million times thinking it will make things better.
I've been putting my thoughts into writing thinking it will make things better.
I've allotted time for vacation and travel thinking it will make things better.
I've invested in material and leisurely effects thinking it will make things better.
But who among us really know what will make things better?
When I woke up this morning and decided that I will not take my morning swim because I was having a stubborn case of rhinitis, was I sure that the swim wouldn't have made my nose less stuffier, and that going back to sleep was what would definitely make things better?
In the afternoon, when I decided to wear flats with my cigarette pants instead of my favorite heels, was I sure that wearing the heels wouldn't have upped my self confidence and that wearing flats was what would definitely make things better?
It got me thinking...every decision we make, every choice will lead us to a consequence or yet another choice. But just because we made that specific choice, it doesn’t mean that the other options you had would not have made things better.
I guess my point is, life's about taking risks. Everyday.
And no one really knows what will make things better.
Things can make you FEEL better...Like ice cream and moonlit dinners by the beach. But you're not really sure if after the good feeling, the rest of your choices the rest of your days will be as good as that.
And that’s what life is all about right?
It's one big crazy-looking box filled with choices. Sometimes you get to pick many, most of the time your down to one choice.
And even before the moment you make your choice... you are already at risk at what your crazy-looking box holds for you.
And the most and, I believe, the best you can do is experience it, make the most out of it, and hope that the next day will bring you more choices other than flats or heels, swim or sleep... so that even if you don't know what will make things better, you know that you can be ready for just about anything.
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