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I was browsing through my emails in the past (like 2-3 years ago), and I found something I wrote for Mark back in 2006. This was around the time we got together and well... the rest is history. Unbelievable. I have to ask Mark if he remembers this. AND I have to scrounge my email for more vintage writings.


There are some things in life that scare us...irrationally sometimes...like shivering at the thought of nearing an edge of the cliff; like the involuntaryshudder when one enters a dark, cold room; like the inevitable fear of a woman giving birth for the very first time.There are also some things that shake us to the core...life-changing events that stay with us forever...instances when you realize you'll never be the same again...like a 6-year-old getting her ears pierced for the first time; like amother hearing her baby's first solid cry after birth; like falling asleep for a hundred years and being awoken by no less than the right person.I feel that right now. I feel alive and terrified at it. I feel rejuvenated and overwhelmed at the thought that i couldn't do it myself, i had to wait for you to come along. And you did come along...which means that you could go away anytime as well.I would like to be with you everyday, never mind if forever is just fictional.But I would also like to cradle myself from the pain of losing you.I would like to take the leap, spread out my arms and plaster a big fat grin on my face, as i laugh at the world, feel the wind on my face, and fly.But I'd also like to be able to surface once in a while and feel my bare feet touch sand and water.I would like to hang on, and hold on to the little faith I have left...But I would also like to let go and never look back on the pain...just be myself without the chains of the past holding me down.I would like to wake up in the morning and feel renewed at the very sight of a single ray of light from the sun. And be warmed by life's ultimate gift of love and hate, life and death, happiness and sorrow...and know that they all belong to me and that i belong to them.But i would also like to belong with you and belong to you...and maybe if I'm lucky enough...have you belong to me too.There are some things in life that scare us irrationally...and then there aresome that shake us to the core... To me, you are both.
-emma