There is this recent tagalog movie I just watched on DVD (with my sister, Mading, the best tagalog flick buddy any girl could have! *lol*), and there was a line there about best friends and lovers that struck a chord in my already out-of-tune ivories. The lady in the movie said something like: a couple starts their lifetime together by themselves, alone. And in the end, after the children have grown up and gotten lives of their own, they are still together, alone. Alone together (what an extremely contradicting phrase, but you get the point, right?). That’s why in relationships, lovers need to be the best of friends… because the romance can dwindle and go aflame unpredictably (After 2 ½ years Mark and I have this, how much more for those who have weathered children and mortgages together), but the friendship never will.
I smiled at that line. And I thought of Mark. I’ve had best friends before. In kindergarten: the boy-next-door whom I grew up with and shared my first innocent peck in the cheek. In grade school and high school: three equally intelligent, interesting and funny young ladies whom I shared all my growing pains with. And in college: Jamie and Yaz. Two of the quirkiest and perkiest individuals who went through the most beautiful and most painful times in my life.
And then there’s Mark.
Boyfriend, DVD partner, Shopping Buddy, Weekend Associate, Fun trips colleague, Mallrat collaborator, Driving buddy, Cuddle-giver extraordinaire, Soul mate and all-around chum… and most importantly, the love of my life (extra extra cheesy, but hey I mean it and there’s no other way to put it).
It was a few months ago when I marveled at him ---wide-eyed and gushing, excited and blushing--- and I told him that I just realized that at 23 years old, being overworked and underfed and overly wired and intense, my best friend in the whole wide world was my boyfriend… my best friend was him.
He knows everything about me. My wildest dreams and fantasies. What I really wanna do with my life. He knows that secret smile I have and the phrase (oh that phrase!) I always utter when I squeal with delight upon discovering pretty pretty stilettos (an addiction, and yes he knows that too). He knows my style. It took a while for him to get it, and yet now he has almost mastered my taste on tops, jeans, shoes, bags, and accessories. He knows my weaknesses and targets them when necessary: Strawberry Mango smoothie from Big Chill and Sizzling Sisig from Congo Grill.
Cosmo says girls shouldn’t do their beauty routines in front of their guys. But I broke that rule, because Mark not only knows all my routines, he knows about my fetish for good (albeit expensive) facial washes and how easily I get bored with bottles and tubes. He knows my signature look is always blushing cheeks. And he adores and accepts me for it.
He knows my fears. He knows how unhappy I am at certain things in my life. He knows how hopeful I am with the other things. He knows how to perk me up when I am sick. He knows just by looking at my face and at the way I walk towards him when I step outside the lobby of our office and meet him every night for dinner, that at that night, I need my Crispy Adobo Flakes from Bento Box.
He knows.
My best friend in the whole world.
And I guess when I heard that line earlier this evening, it got me elated. Hopeful. It made me realize that despite a relationship’s unpredictable inflation or deflation in romance (like I said, this happens), Mark and I have our friendship. We know each other so well. Over the years we’ve become so comfortable with each other, we barely felt it happen to us.
In fact, I had often wondered when our comfy silent moments in the car started. It did not bother me that when we were driving off somewhere we sometimes just stay quiet. Not mad-quiet. But comfy-peaceful-quiet. I was curious at how it started. How it happened. And he doesn’t know as well, but we both know that we have already developed the power to listen and talk to each other in silence. To be there for each other without creating noise. To say I love you, just by grasping each other's hand while staring at the road together, moving forward to get to our destination.
How often we get this in one lifetime, I do not know. But realizing all this just made me feel lucky. Lucky because despite the negative and sad and well, bad parts of my life right now (inevitable, what would we do without drama, right?), I have a guy, a person, a totally different and unique individual who chooses to be with me and hold my hand and face every damn ripe, not-so-ripe, and rotten stuff life can throw at us… and we can both face it with friendship and with love.
:)
I smiled at that line. And I thought of Mark. I’ve had best friends before. In kindergarten: the boy-next-door whom I grew up with and shared my first innocent peck in the cheek. In grade school and high school: three equally intelligent, interesting and funny young ladies whom I shared all my growing pains with. And in college: Jamie and Yaz. Two of the quirkiest and perkiest individuals who went through the most beautiful and most painful times in my life.
And then there’s Mark.
Boyfriend, DVD partner, Shopping Buddy, Weekend Associate, Fun trips colleague, Mallrat collaborator, Driving buddy, Cuddle-giver extraordinaire, Soul mate and all-around chum… and most importantly, the love of my life (extra extra cheesy, but hey I mean it and there’s no other way to put it).
It was a few months ago when I marveled at him ---wide-eyed and gushing, excited and blushing--- and I told him that I just realized that at 23 years old, being overworked and underfed and overly wired and intense, my best friend in the whole wide world was my boyfriend… my best friend was him.
He knows everything about me. My wildest dreams and fantasies. What I really wanna do with my life. He knows that secret smile I have and the phrase (oh that phrase!) I always utter when I squeal with delight upon discovering pretty pretty stilettos (an addiction, and yes he knows that too). He knows my style. It took a while for him to get it, and yet now he has almost mastered my taste on tops, jeans, shoes, bags, and accessories. He knows my weaknesses and targets them when necessary: Strawberry Mango smoothie from Big Chill and Sizzling Sisig from Congo Grill.
Cosmo says girls shouldn’t do their beauty routines in front of their guys. But I broke that rule, because Mark not only knows all my routines, he knows about my fetish for good (albeit expensive) facial washes and how easily I get bored with bottles and tubes. He knows my signature look is always blushing cheeks. And he adores and accepts me for it.
He knows my fears. He knows how unhappy I am at certain things in my life. He knows how hopeful I am with the other things. He knows how to perk me up when I am sick. He knows just by looking at my face and at the way I walk towards him when I step outside the lobby of our office and meet him every night for dinner, that at that night, I need my Crispy Adobo Flakes from Bento Box.
He knows.
My best friend in the whole world.
And I guess when I heard that line earlier this evening, it got me elated. Hopeful. It made me realize that despite a relationship’s unpredictable inflation or deflation in romance (like I said, this happens), Mark and I have our friendship. We know each other so well. Over the years we’ve become so comfortable with each other, we barely felt it happen to us.
In fact, I had often wondered when our comfy silent moments in the car started. It did not bother me that when we were driving off somewhere we sometimes just stay quiet. Not mad-quiet. But comfy-peaceful-quiet. I was curious at how it started. How it happened. And he doesn’t know as well, but we both know that we have already developed the power to listen and talk to each other in silence. To be there for each other without creating noise. To say I love you, just by grasping each other's hand while staring at the road together, moving forward to get to our destination.
How often we get this in one lifetime, I do not know. But realizing all this just made me feel lucky. Lucky because despite the negative and sad and well, bad parts of my life right now (inevitable, what would we do without drama, right?), I have a guy, a person, a totally different and unique individual who chooses to be with me and hold my hand and face every damn ripe, not-so-ripe, and rotten stuff life can throw at us… and we can both face it with friendship and with love.
:)
2 comments:
awwww....i love how you write ems! can you write something like this for moi!??? hehehe love you ems! have fun bakasyon-ing in CDO! ill be waiting for my pasalubong, k? hehehe joke lang!
Thanks, Ji!!! I mishu and love ya too!!! See you at the office next week!!(well I know we barely get to see each other even though we're on the same floor, but hopefully we'll bump into each other or something. hehe) *Mwaa*
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